[AUTHOR’S NOTE: After the initial madness of losing my son to suicide had settled down to a quiet roar, I was drawn to mindfulness meditation.
“THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD”
[Author’s Note: At my son’s memorial service, his friend Nadine (not her real name) told the story of how Julian once took a homeless man
“HOW TO ANSWER THE QUESTION”
“Do you have children?” It’s kind of personal, even intimate, isn’t it? These days there are so many who choose to not have children at all, or people who struggle to have children, or people who have suffered the loss of a child. Can’t we lean into conversation with a new acquaintance with a little more imagination and elegance?
“A RIOT OF COLOR”
This post is dedicated to my mother, Carmen, whose birthday is today. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you! —————————- Since my son’s suicide in June
NOT “HEARTBROKEN”
[Author’s Note: When a loved one dies by suicide – in my case, my only child – there really isn’t a word that touches the
“THERE GOES ANOTHER ONE”
Like so many, I was saddened to tears to learn of Robin Williams’ “apparent” suicide. This comic and dramatic genius is now forever lost to
“DIARY OF A MOTHER IN POSTPARTUM HELL”
[Author’s Note: I experienced horrible postpartum depression during Julian’s first months of life and my first months as a mother. No one can say for
“THERE YOU ARE”
That boy holding the door for his mom, the kid waiting in line at Starbuck’s, the teen weaving his bike through traffic, the man leaning
“THE LONG GOODBYE”
I miss you. Not the way I missed you when your father and I went on our first date after you were born. Nana and
“OUR NOT TOO AUSPICIOUS BEGINNINGS”
Friday, January 19, 1990 around 5:00 p.m. My waters broke and the countdown to baby began. It had been a fairly uneventful pregnancy. There had
“NO WORDS”
There are words for those whose spouses die: “widows” and “widowers.” There is a word for children, even adult children, whose parents die: “orphans.” Although
