Podcast: “Beauty In The Breakdown”

I have what I hope will be an exciting announcement: I’m going to be hosting a podcast!

The plan is to interview “experts” on the topics of grief, loss, death, terminal illness, suicide (I know; really uplifting topics, right??). Here’s the catch though: I am looking for The Beauty In the Breakdown, the silver linings, the growth that can come from living with the harrowing challenges of excruciating loss.

This is not to say there isn’t a dark side to tragedy and trauma. Far from it. The pain of grief is real, and although its intensity may wane, one never truly gets over it. I know. My son’s absence – even 8 years later – is present for me every single day. So this podcast won’t be about ignoring or bypassing the hardships. I want to keep it real.

But I also want it to leave my listeners feeling hopeful.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve managed to re-engage with life. I’m functioning in the world again. I show up. I’m vulnerable with others. I even dare to love.

I wanted to turn my own personal loss into something more than the woeful tragedy it is. I wanted to give something back in gratitude for all the love, support, encouragement and compassion I received in the aftermath of my son’s suicide. And as I approached (and then hit) my 60-year mark, I pondered my legacy. I realized I had to come up with a new one now that my son is no longer it.

Since Julian’s suicide, I’ve been admittedly a little obsessed with making meaning of his death…not just for my benefit and peace of mind, but for the benefit of others too. I blog; I write with others; I coach survivors. And soon I will be hosting a podcast. It seems the best way to put all my education, training, and life experience to good use. It also seems the best way to honor my son’s struggle and his memory.

My goal: to be up and running with the podcast by the end of the year. I haven’t decided how often to post; weekly seems to be the trend, but that feels SO ambitious and daunting! There will eventually be some gentle music in the background (this version just has my voice). I would love your feedback about this podcast concept, this intro in particular, ideas about possible guests, whatever you believe might be helpful as I embark on this new adventure.

Have a listen, and please comment below. Thank you.

P.S. I wish I had come up with the title of my podcast, “Beauty In The Breakdown,” but credit goes to the musical phenom, Frou Frou, and their haunting 2002 song, “Let Go.” Enjoy!

P.P.S. A special shout-out to Andrea Scher, whose online class, “The Mighty Little Podcast Course,” lit a fire under me and, well, here I am.





  1. What great idea, Celenia! I know of one local writer/friend who has written a beautiful memoir about her life after her husband’s early death. She has a wonderful story to tell and I can put you in touch if you like…

    Good luck on this exciting new venture! XXOO C


    Cynthia Leslie-Bole

    Coaching and Workshops Exploring, Expressing, Expanding Your Life

    (925) 451-9317




    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Cynthia, and yes, please, I would very much appreciate being in touch with your friend. It may take me another month before I actually start recording interviews, but I’d be thrilled to do some initial outreach. Email me privately with contact information. And thanks again for your support. You’ve always been a great cheerleader!!


  3. I absolutely LOVE the title! I so admire your courage, bravery, and wisdom. Years ago I wrote a story for the local paper about a woman whose teen aged son had died by suicide. She was going to high schools to talk to students about her experience and all she had learned about her son and about the signs she missed – she was on a mission to bring awareness, because she herself had been unaware of what to watch for. I was honored to be chosen to tell her story. At that point in time two young men in our very small community had also died in this way. They were close friends and died one year apart. It left many people reeling and devastated the parents.

    Celina, you have such a beautiful gift for expression and such empathy for others. I hope the light you shed on such a painful topic reaches many. I am so glad I happened upon your blog, for your gifts are many and so inspirational. May God bless you on your journey. I wish you much success in this endeavor.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carol, you are very kind. Yes, the suicide of a child can be a real eye-opener. I at least had some clue that my son was struggling – five years’ worth – but for some parents it is a total and complete shock. How wonderful of you to write this woman’s story; I’m sure it had something to do with the courage she was able to gather to tell her story again and again to others. The conversation about mental health challenges and suicide must continue and be out in the open. Otherwise, the stigma remains, the isolation persists and we lose more loved ones.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely! The more awareness, the better. More money put into the health care system, especially mental health is also needed. In fact, it’s critical, at least here in Canada.


  4. Celenia – I’m looking forward to following your podcast. You have a soothing voice, a sound train of thought in both your speaking and writing. For your work to bless and heal I pray, dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Celenia, I am so looking forward to your podcast. I am grappling with my own loss and know I will find comfort as I listen in. I echo Jill’s observation that you have a very calming voice. I can feel and see you through your voice and the easy spacing. We will grieve, grow and feel less alone, as we make sense of everything and take strength in a new resolve for life. I know this will be a safe place where I will embrace the camaraderie and inspiration from others, and share my own insights as I live and love with a new and wiser resolve. Thank you for allowing us this forum of nurturing.

    Liked by 1 person

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