Notes To Self

Breathe. Breathe again. Keep breathing. Keep coming back to the breath, to the awareness, to the mindfulness and consciousness. Breathe to blow away the reactivity and insecurity that taunts and teases. Breathe for inspiration. Breathe for your freakin’ life.

Forgive. When you’re ready to do so, but sooner than later, if at all possible, because you may never feel “ready” and forever is too long a time to carry that shit around with you. People are human. People make mistakes. You are human. You make mistakes. This is not to say there’s no evil in the world, but evil is rare. Truly. Most of us are actually trying to do our best.

Be patient. I know; if only those millennials would put down their smart phones and not cause wrecks on the freeway and make everyone trailing behind them late for everything. If only there was one more register open at the grocery store, everyone could get back into their cars with their melting ice cream a few minutes sooner to avoid that wreck that’s going to happen because of that thoughtless millennial. If only that person you’re trying to explain something to would get it the first time around so you don’t have to waste your time repeating yourself. If only life were not short and you could be chill. Well…life is short. However, the world is not going to end if you don’t have what you want (or who you want) right. this. minute. So chill. “Chill” is good, girlfriend. Chill is way better than fraught.

Tell yourself you are enough. Every day. Until you believe it. And once you honest-to-goodness believe it, don’t stop reminding yourself. And if you forget, start the mantra all over again. When someone else in the world confirms this belief for you, say, “Yes. I am. Thank you for noticing!” Stop internalizing the opposite message; it is not serving you. Throw those limiting beliefs out with the trash. Haul them to the curb and watch the truck turn the bin upside down and shake the hell out of it until every last bit of your nonsense garbage is driven away.

Move. Literally. Get your sorry ass off the chair, the sofa, the recliner. Your body will thank you. It wants to move. It feels so much better when it does. And you just may fit into that little black dress when your 60th birthday hits. It’s never too late to make heads turn.

Watch what goes into your mouth. For Christ’s sake, love your body enough to feed it proper nutrition and forego the junky, empty, even poisonous calories. This is the only body we get for this lifetime. Keep it strong. Maintain your vitality. Stop being a little old lady. Enough already.

Fall in love again. You’re a catch. Believe it. Make this time the last time. Understand what you might have to do differently in order for that to be the case. Remind yourself that those initial red-hot sparks can mean a roaring fire, but possibly a shorter burn. Pace yourself, honey.

Breathe. Forgive yourself and your former loves for your collective human-ness. Be patient. Remember you are enough. Get yourself into great shape (90 can be the new 70!). Love yourself first, with all your might…

And the love of your life will surely show up.

NOTE: This blog post was inspired by the poem, “Advice to Myself” by Louise Erdrich. Thank you, Laurie Wagner for introducing me to the poem.